this post will be a sign of how this week is going to go for me.  My weekend was filled with very mixed emotions.  I did enjoy myself on friday, but as always, something had to fuck it up for me.  I wasn’t comfortable being around so many people, it was weird.  Usually I am, but I felt like everyone was giving me weird looks, and I didn’t like it one bit.  Everyone was so distant… or was that just me? It probably was me, now that I think about it.  Everything is more distant now, everyone as well.  I still love and care about my friends, but not in the way I used to.  I gave up caring like that, when I saw I was getting nothing in return.  A part of me wants to just sever all ties completely, not because I don’t love my friends and those around me, I just want to be alone.  That feeling has been engulfing my thoughts for quite awhile now, and I can’t seem to shake it.  That’s all I want to do is be alone.  Alone.  Away from everybody.  I don’t talk much at school anymore.  I cannot even remember the last time I sat with my friends at lunch.  The strange part is that..it doesn’t seem to bother me that much.  I seem to be fine.  I’m not happy, I’m not sad, I’m just ______. I don’t know.  I probably won’t be talking too much this week.